Ankahee Chapter 16

Posted by Shabia Walia on



Episode 16

Ruhi kept staring at the sea. The wind was blowing and she felt cold suddenly. She dare not turn towards Randeep, lest he see his pain in her eyes.

She knew how it felt to be lonely despite having someone with you. It's worse than being all alone. She had been through it. She could relate to his pain.

Randeep looked towards her and continued, ‘You ok Ruhi?’

She nodded still looking at the sea. She felt too vulnerable.

He continued, ‘For a very long time I felt it was me Nimmi resented. I thought maybe she didn't love me. Maybe she hated my touch. It was only after a year or so that one night she confessed what had happened to her as a child. I tried to be gentle towards her, I loved her despite the lack of physical intimacy, I tried winning her trust to make our marriage work but slowly her own frustrations of failure got to her. She started avoiding me, sometimes pretending to sleep early or being sick or just being tired. Of course, I never forced her, for me she was more important to me than that.

But the distance had started creeping in. You know Ruhi, physical intimacy cannot be the foundation of any relationship but it does cement a relationship. It heals hearts while healing bodies. It goes a long way in building trust and without it our marriage too lost the binding we had never been able to build.’Randeep concluded.

Ruhi finally gathered the courage to speak, ‘I can understand Randeep. Every bit of it. You did not have touch and I had too much of it. In the form of aggressive violence. It destroyed my soul. Forced physical intimacy and then violet beatings can totally ruin your body and with it your soul. So yes I can totally understand your pain.’ She said softly.

Randeep put his hand on hers. She pressed it assuringly as they both smiled painfully at each other.

‘You never felt like having an affair or you didn't meet anyone?’ Ruhi asked. ‘I mean at your position it would have been easy to find someone, no?’

Randeep smiled, ‘On the contrary, with success comes a lot of responsibility. Being a commoner you can get away with a lot of things, but being successful, you are responsible for every action of yours. I not only had to protect my name but Nimmi’s too alongwith the organisation I work for.’

Ruhi nodded agreeing to what he was saying.

‘If you are asking if I wasn't tempted, of course I was. I am only human after all. It was painful to go home every night knowing I had to sleep alone. But you know what is more painful than anything else Ruhi?’, Randeep asked looking at her.

Ruhi said softly, ‘What?’

‘The fact that in so many years I couldn't get Nimmi to trust me completely’, he said in a defeated voice.

‘Hmmm… Don't carry that guilt Randeep. We all have to live our karmas. I can understand Nimmi’s pain too. To find a good man and still not being able to live happily with him, it can be very frustrating.’, Ruhi offered.

‘Yes, am sure her pain is bigger than mine. That she has built a successful business despite all this is a big solace and happiness for me. Am very proud of her.’, Randeep said and Ruhi could sense his pride in what he said.

He now moved a bit closer to her and she turned her face towards him.

‘You know Ruhi you walked in like a breath of fresh air in my life. When I met you, a part of me started wanting to look for love again. The emotions I had suppressed all came back asking me to relive them,’ Ruhi tried soaking in everything Randeep was saying.

As he spoke he kept tucking strands of her hair which were flying across her face.

‘Look, I know I cannot force you to love me. That's your choice. But I love you deeply. I do not know where you, I, Nimmi go from here but maybe there is a path for all of us. I don't know but I could find it if you are with me.’, Randeep said, cupping her face in his palms.

Ruhi sighed putting her own hands on his hands.

‘I don't know Randeep if two broken people can make a complete life. I am deeply attracted to you, I won't lie but whether I love you, can love you, I will have to find out’, she said honestly.

Randeep nodded his head understanding what she was saying. He took his hands away from her face and looked towards the sea.

Ruhi got up then and gave him his hand. He took it and got up.

‘But Mr, Kapoor, I never said that we couldn't start with a hug, did I?’, she smiled naughtily. And then ran away urging him to catch her.

He smiled, rather laughed, a full throttle laugh as he ran after her. He would chase her to the end of his life, he promised himself as he chased her.

He had to chase after his happiness. He had lived without it for too long.

… be continued.

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